If you haven’t heard about “Spare,” I don’t know where you’ve been hiding because this book has caused a frenzy.
Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, released a memoir on 10 January 2023. The 416 page long book came with many revelations as Harry really doesn’t hold back in this book.
The range of things covered in the memoir is quite something. From outlining matters pertaining to his strained relationships with family members such as his brother Prince William (who is described as his “archnemesis” – a word I haven’t heard used since primary school!), to a candid insight in him dealing with the death of his mother Princess Diana, the time he killed 25 Taliban fighters in Afghanistan, and confessing that he begged his father Charles to not marry Camilla. This book provides an honest, and slightly one sided, look into Harry’s life.
Interestingly, the book confirms that the reason the book is called “Spare” is because the day he was born, his father dubbed him a “Spare”.
Now, in all honesty, as an avid reader, this book wasn’t great despite being a best seller. But what it did provide was some quality content in terms of weird quotes and glimpses into Harry’s mindset for some of his famous mishaps.
So to save you a mediocre read, and provide you with some entertainment, here are some very strange quotes from “Spare” that still live rent free in my head:
A Case of Frostbite
Harry, describing a case of a frostbite after visiting the North Pole wrote:
“Upon arriving home I’d been horrified to discover that my nether regions were frost nipped as well, and while the ears and cheeks were already healing, the todger wasn’t…” His downstairs was “oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised… I’d been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She’d urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream. I said to my friend ‘my mum used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger?’ She replied with “it works Harry, trust me”.
The product in question here was the Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream, and according to a tweet posted by Elizabeth Arden, sales in the UK of the product were boosted by 60% after the memoir was released!
This whole saga was bizarre, as the timing of the north pole trip was right before his brother’s wedding, so the passage closes with a quote:
“What was the universe trying to say to me by depriving me of both my brother and my penis?”
The Nazi costume
In 2005, Harry was spotted wearing a Nazi Costume which was received (understandably…) very controversially.
“I was debating whether to dress as a Nazi or a pilot for the Native and Colonial themed party… I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. Nazi uniform, they said. They both howled.”
Harry alleges in the memoir that Prince William and Princess Kate were the reasons for his err in judgement. Not sure If I believe that one…
Chilling with Nelson Mandela and the spice girls
Shortly after the passing of Princess Diana, King Charles and Harry went on a trip to South Africa.
“Pa’s staff hoped a photo of him standing alongside the world’s most revered political leader and the world’s most popular female act would earn him some positive headlines, which he sorely needed. … His approval rating around the world was in single digits.”
I don’t even know if this one needs an explanation. The picture speaks a thousand words.
Losing his virginity
When disclosing an incident with his bodyguard, he said “I suspected he was referring to my recent loss of virginity, a humiliating episode with an older woman who liked macho horses and who treated me like a young stallion.
I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and sent me away. One of my many mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a very busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us.’
What a story!!
