5 beauty chores to refresh your routine during lockdown

Make your beauty regime work for you during lockdown and use the extra time at home to your advantage.

It could be experimenting with and perfecting a new look, undertaking essential maintenance or completing one of those niggly jobs you’ve been putting off for ages. Check out this list for inspo.

1 Clean your make-up brushes

Arguably every make-up junkies’ must hated task, but an absolutely critical one. Even if you haven’t been wearing make-up while at home, your tools could always do with a good wash.

Dirty brushes can harbour bacteria, which can cause breakouts, and clean brushes apply make-up far better than ones that aren’t. Don’t worry if you don’t have a special brush cleaner, just use shampoo, then rinse thoroughly, squeeze out the excess and allow brushes to dry lying flat in the sun.

Lying them flat and not standing up means that water won’t drip down into the handle and ruin it.

2 Do a hair mask

Most of us are in such a rush when having a shower, we rarely have time to treat hair to a mask. They can deeply nourish, treat and hydrate your locks and drastically improve its overall condition.

After shampooing, apply the mask to your mid-lengths and ends (or all over if hair is extremely dry) and leave it in for the recommended time before rinsing thoroughly. While it’s penetrating, use the time to clean the shower, shave your legs or do a body exfoliation.

3 Do a beauty product audit

Now’s the time to go through those cupboards and drawers, pull everything out and sort it carefully. Throw away any expired make-up or skincare – all products have a little box logo on the side with a number on it, which indicates how many months they’re good for, once opened. Get rid of anything you know you won’t use again and the arrange everything left into categories – future you will love this.

4 Practice a tricky technique

Struggling to perfect a complicated make-up look? You have all the time in the world to master it in lockdown. Plus, you can just wipe it off and start again, with no pressure to have it looking flawless before going out. Whether it’s a liquid liner flick, a precision bold lip or blending brightly coloured eye shadow, you’ll be a pro with a little practice.

5 Do a DIY Mani

While nail salons are closed, treat yourself to a basic manicure. Start by removing any old nail polish, pushing back cuticles and massaging in oil – nourished cuticles means strong, healthy nail growth. Apply hand cream and work into hands, to make them super soft and supple. Apply a base coat to protect nails, then two coats of your favourite colour. Finish with a topcoat to ensure a chip-free finish that lasts.

10 best at-home hair dye tips and tricks you need to know about

The quality of home hair colour has come along in leaps and bounds and is a no-brainer for anyone in lockdown, on a tight budget or who is super time poor.

While putting in your own highlights takes lots of practice, women who have just a single, all-over colour put through their locks will love how incredibly easy the process is. Here are our best tips for getting the best result.

1 Prepare in advance

Make sure absolutely everything is laid out and ready to go before you begin, so that you’re not digging into boxes or the linen cupboard for towels with dye-stained gloves on.

2 Dress for success

Get yourself into extremely old clothes and ideally a button-down top, so that you can get it off easily before you jump into the shower to rinse hair.

3 Prepare your surroundings

Cover the bathroom surfaces with newspaper or old towels as no matter how careful you are, dropped blobs of dye is almost a given.

4 Patch test

Always, always do a patch test prior. This lets you can rule out experiencing any kind of allergic reaction and ensures the colour you’ve chosen goes to plan.

5 Consider your hair type

If you have extremely thick or long hair, use two boxes of dye so that you are able to thoroughly coat every last strand.

6 Remember layering

Remember that dye over dye always goes darker, so keep this in mind if your hair is already coloured and you’re trying to decide on a shade.

7 Sectioning is a must

Sectioning your hair is absolutely critical in achieving an even result. Make sure you have some sectioning clips and up and always start at the roots.

8 Bring in the vaseline

Apply lip balm or Vaseline around your hairline to avoid any tell-tale forehead staining.

9 Get prepped for cleaning

Keep some makeup or cleaning wipes handy to wipe away any spills straight away.

10 Watch the roots

If it’s greys you’re worried about and aren’t certain about committing to a DIY dye job, use a root touch up spray to tide you over until you get a hair appointment. They’re available from the supermarket and pharmacy.

Get to know Mai FM host and singer Alex King with our rapid-fire Q&A

Alex co-hosts the Mai FM afternoon show, Mai Home Run, weekdays from 3-7pm. She’s also a singer and the daughter of mental health advocate Mike King.

Who was your childhood idol/role model?

I grew up listening to Bette Midler and Motown, so music itself was a massive icon in my life growing up, if that makes sense!

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I recently found an old picture that I drew when I was about five or six, and I wrote that I wanted to be a lawyer and a Silver Fern! I completed two years of law, so it’s kind of half true?

What’s your favourite Disney movie and why?

It would have to be The Incredibles, only because I like how it showcases that no family is perfect, but perfectly imperfect.

Last book you read/movie you watched?

I watched Avengers: Infinity War last night, and I’m currently reading The Courage to be Disliked.

What’s the best podcast you’ve listened to?

Oprah’s Super Soul podcast.

What song is guaranteed to get you on the dance floor?

Anything by Eve, or Bruno Mars’ new song with Anderson Paak “Leave the Door Open”.

What would be a good theme song for your life?

“Clumsy” by Fergie – the reason is all in the title!

Which fictional character would you most like to meet?

Probably anyone from the Disney show The Proud Family, or Lilo and Stitch!

What song can you listen to on repeat and never get sick of?

Any song from Ariana Grande’s new album Positions.

What’s your favourite romantic comedy?

Anything with Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone (I’d love it if they got together one day, their chemistry is second to none!)

What’s your favourite movie snack?

Whittaker’s Creamy Milk 5 Roll Refined chocolate (can you tell I eat it a lot?)

What’s your best binge series of the past year?

The Queen’s Gambit – get on this bandwagon ASAP!

Who’s your favourite actor?

James Spader (he is insane), Meryl Streep and Frances McDormand

Who’s your celebrity crush?

My babes Justin Bieber and Ryan Gosling, OMG.

What living person do you most admire?

I’m lucky to have so many amazing friends and people I admire in my life.
My family is pretty great, Mum and Dad for sure. But my brother Nathan is someone who I look up to a lot. Plus my work brothers, Brook and Fame. They’ve taught me so much about life and always listen to my boy problems, ha ha! I love them.

What is the most-used app on your phone?

Instagram and TikTok – classic Gen Z!

Our picks for the best TV shows to binge-watch in lockdown

Here’s what the team at Woman have been watching while stuck at home.

The White Lotus

Watch on Neon

Rich white people behaving atrociously? Yes, please. Like nearly everyone else on the planet, I binged The White Lotus and now can’t stop banging on about this blackly comic story of wealthy families on holiday at a Hawaiian resort – and a death that’s revealed over six episodes. It’s this year’s Tiger King, but even better. And I’m so late to the party, almost everyone has gone home, but Mare of Easttown (also on Neon) had me from the opening credits. Kate Winslet knocks it out the park in her role as a small-town cop wrestling with her demons. Sharon Stephenson, Senior Editor

Deceit

Watch on Neon

Every now and then a thriller comes along that is better than the rest. Often in a foreign language – I’m pleased to say that this one is not, which means you don’t have to focus and speed read. It’s late 1970’s London. Sadie is a tough undercover cop taking on high-risk jobs, and is barely recognised for her courage and the horrendous situations she has to infiltrate. When a young woman is killed in a park, Sadie is asked to pose as “Lizzie”, a potential victim, in order to coax an evil deviant sexual predator – and possible serial killer – out into the open. This is English drama at its best. It’s dark, terrifying and intriguing. In four parts, Neon has drip fed this dark beauty each Sunday, but hopefully you’ll be able to binge all at once. Polly Gillespie, Columnist

Physical

Watch on Apple TV+

Loved this! Physical was a perfect lockdown weekend binge. I gobbled it all at once – which is ironic, because the show’s troubled star Sheila (Rose Byrne) is a binge eater. Sheila is a beautiful but miserable 1980s San Diego housewife looking for purpose, and finds it via – wait for it – aerobics. Cue legwarmers and lycra! As Sheila supports her husband’s campaign for political office, she struggles with her own demons, and viewers eavesdrop on her hilarious inner dialogue. But she finds herself through aerobics, makes budget recordings and becomes a video superstar. Physical got a lot of shade from critics, but it’s funny and moving and I churned through the 10 snappy half-hour episodes. The ’80s styling deserves its own Emmy. (I’m thinking about getting a spiral perm.) Sido Kitchin, Editor

Dr Death

Watch on TVNZ OnDemand

We have been loving Dr Death, a mind- blowing true story about a case in the States involving a neurosurgeon who you would not want operating on you. The all-star cast makes it even more appealing, with Joshua Jackson playing the manic Dr Duntsch, and Alec Baldwin and Christian Slater as the other doctors attempting to bring him to justice. Amy Houlihan, Beauty Editor

Nine Perfect Strangers

Watch on Amazon Prime Video

I’m probably in a very small group, but I actually never got around to reading the book – always wanted to, never did. As luck would have it, I’m thrilled I didn’t as I’m totally on the edge of my seat with this mysterious yet beautifully put together series. Nicole Kidman is captivating as ever, and the rest of the cast is so on point. It’s got some similarities to The White Lotus for me, which I also loved! And I knew within the first 10 minutes that this was going to be a great watch. Safe to say I binged all of the episodes that were available and I’m eagerly waiting for more. Georgia Bews, Director, Brands & Media Solutions

The Chair

Watch on Netflix

With just six 30-minute episodes, I easily devoured his new Sandra Oh comedy- drama series in one sitting! The Killing Eve star plays Professor Ji-Yoon Kim, the newly appointed chair of the English department at a prestigious university. As the first female and first person of colour to hold the position, she’s excited to make changes – but didn’t anticipate having to do damage control for her best friend and fellow professor Bill, or contemplate forcing three senior lecturers into retirement at the dean’s command. And all this while struggling to connect with her adopted daughter Ju Ju. Sandra’s performance is, as usual, amazing, but the highlight of this show for me was definitely Holland Taylor as badass Chaucer expert Joan. Jennifer Reynolds, Chief Sub-editor

Modern Love

Watch on Amazon Prime Video

If you’re looking for some bite-sized escapism of the romantic kind, check out this series, which originates from a column of the same name that’s been running in The New York Times since 2004. Each episode tells a different tale of contemporary romance, often starring famous actors (my favourite episode in the first season features Tina Fey and Mad Men’s John Slattery as a couple who rebuild their failing marriage by playing a lot of tennis). Although the series is almost exclusively set in New York, the new season includes two episodes that were filmed in Ireland: one with Minnie Driver (remember Circle of Friends!) whizzing through the Irish countryside in a vintage sports car; another set in Covid times with Kit Harrington (looking only slightly less pained than he does in Game of Thrones) sporting a Dublin accent. Rachel Clare, Garden columnist

Sarah-Kate Lynch laments her struggles with cooking during lockdown

With her resident cook across the Tasman, Sarah-Kate must fend for herself.

In 28 years of marriage, I’ve learnt one thing: if your husband wants to be the chief cook and bottle washer, let him.

As a result, it’s been about 25 years since I really applied myself in the kitchen. But because this pain-in-the-proverbial pandemic has my Ginger in Brisbane and myself here in Auckland – and seemingly no way of remedying that – I have had to step into the breach.

It hasn’t gone well.

The first day he was gone, I opened the dishwasher and a carving knife flew out and stabbed me in the shin. It could’ve been worse, but it also could’ve been better. And keep you opinion about what should go in the dishwasher to yourself, because in our house everything goes in there. Every. Thing.

By the time we get down to Level 3, I may even be washing the sheets in there. And myself. And the dog.

As it is, the dishes are being washed, but everything else, not so much. I manage to sluice myself down most days, but Jimmy’s a bit wiffy – although I think he likes it that way.

Lucky for him, he eats nuts and dog roll which come pre-prepared. He’s half Labrador, so it’s a real sign that he grimaces when he sees some of the things I make myself, and on occasion he even leaves the room.

But I am already five weeks into flying solo and may have another 10 to go, especially if Air New Zealand keeps cancelling flights on me. Surely they must know more than 48 hours in advance if there are going to be passengers on their planes?

And while it thrilled me to pay $275 for an up-the-nose pre-departure test to establish that I don’t have Covid, I would’ve preferred if I had got to actually depart. In any regard, my usually much-loved national airline can stop thanking me for my patience and understanding when they send their cancellation emails because, at this point, I have non of either and more than a little of the opposite.

Anyway, back to the kitchen. What has emerged is that I should be kept away from sharp knives and cheese graters. I am currently sporting no less than three sticking plasters on my hands due to grating and other unexplained skin-removal incidents.

I am currently sporting no less than three sticking plasters on my hands due to grating and other unexplained skin-removal incidents.

Interestingly, I have not gone off cheese. In fact, if you opened my fridge now you would think that’s all I have. But that’s only because cheese is all that’s in there. Well, it’s so versatile! You can put it on toast, in a baked potato, on a cracker, in a bread roll… the list goes on until you’re scraping out the escapee peas in the bottom drawer and wondering if you could put cheese on those.

My life changed for the better a few days ago when I found out the local pie shop was delivering. Then it changed for the worse again when the pie shop was flooded.

Then I wondered if pie deliveries were really such a good idea from an am-I-ever-going-to-get- out-of-stretchy-pants perspective. Then I decided I didn’t give a flying frot about the stretchiness of my pants. Then I cleaned out my wardrobe and found all the pretty dresses I don’t fit. Then I really felt like a pie.

In other news, I hope I’m not the only person to have discovered a glittering jewel amid the doom and gloom of the endless infections and tiresome restrictions that come hand in hand (two metres apart, of course) with Delta Schmelta.

I refer, of course, to the Butterscotch Caramel Sauce from Barker’s of Geraldine ($4.99). Tin of peaches, dollop of yoghurt and a thick gooey swirl or three of that, combined with something girlie on Netflix, and suddenly the proverbial seems just a little bit less painful.

Polly Gillespie opens up about her grief after losing her beloved mum

From a stopover at Grief to the town of Lost, Polly shares her rollercoaster ride of emotions.

I’d rather be holidaying somewhere divine and tropical, and having massages in rooms that smell like bergamot and exotic somethingness, but right now I seem to be spending my time basking on the shores of a sea called Wallow.

I’m hoping not to stay long, but I guess when I booked my vacation, I forgot to make a stopover at Grief, or even look at the brochures. No. I headed straight to this gosh darn grey town of Lost. I’ll get an Uber to an airport and fly out of here as soon as I finish this.

When my mum died, I thought it would feel the same as when my sister and dad died. It came as quite a shock that it felt nothing like the same thing. My dad died and I took charge of things. My sister died and I was devastated.

But I had Mum to help, a great husband and three very small children. With a career, a grieving mother, a hubby and three children under six, life just charges away. You’re in a river of busy and so you just swim and float the best way you can.

When Mum died, I didn’t feel like I was in a river being swept along. I felt like I did when I was two years old, when I spun around and around in the middle of the bank while my mother was withdrawing or depositing, or whatever it is women did at banks back in the day. I remember so clearly laughing and getting dizzy, falling on the carpet, and then realising I couldn’t see where my mother was.

I panicked. I can still feel that panic now when I remember feeling completely alone and lost in the middle of the Ōtāhuhu branch of ASB. It must have only been a few seconds before my mother came over and scooped me up, but that feeling of being lost in a big grown-up place remains with me. It’s how I feel now.

Loneliness was never something I understood. I was the woman who loved to dine alone, go to the movies by myself and have a week away solo in LA for work, knowing no one. I didn’t care. I loved being by myself. I thought it made me interesting.

In my head, I was the epitome of Beyoncé’s “Independent Woman”.

In my head, I was the epitome of Beyoncé’s “Independent Woman.

I now know Beyoncé and I were both ever-so-slightly delusional. She gets anxious and sad too. Whether you’re an international superstar with a fleet of Mercedes, a divorced mother of three, or a single woman living life on life’s terms, there are bound to be trips to destinations not desirable, like Wallow and Bit Broken.

I’ve found that, for myself, in these hellish hotels, there’s too much time to think things like, “What if I never find love again?”

“Now my parents are gone, does that make me a grown-up orphan?”

“I don’t want to date anyone new. I’ll have to take my clothes off.”

“I’m not asking for help from anyone, because I’m tough. No, I’m not. Yes, I am. No, I’m not. Stop thinking!”

“How hard would it be to assemble my own wooden garden swing chair?”

“Is it acceptable to live on a diet of broccoli soup and Earl Grey tea? Who is Earl? Am I an involuntary vegetarian?”

“Why do all the men I fancy have to be tattooed and emotionally damaged?” “Am I emotionally damaged? Oh my God, I’m emotionally damaged. I should have a warning label across my chest.”

Yes, I’ve been milling around here and dancing by myself with loneliness a little too long now.

I need to move out of Wallow and head home. I probably need to visit Grief on my way, and sign the visitors’ book too.

Also, it probably would help if I did some yoga and maybe got a personal trainer, in the slight chance that I might ever want to take my clothes off in front of a man again. Actually, a personal trainer sounds expensive. Who do I think I am? Beyoncé?

Writing about this rocky road trip has certainly helped. Thank you.

19 fashion items for head-to-toe comfort and style during lockdown

Whether you’re Zooming, zipping to the supermarket or catching some Z’s, these luxe pieces will see you through.

Shoes

Kathryn Wilson slides, $199.

New Balance sneakers, $150

Kathryn Wilson slides, $299.

Clothing

Kowtow cardigan, $249

Witchery jacket, $169.90.

Kowtow jumper, $289

Witchery top, $79.90.

Clique cropped tee, $64.90.

Anine Bing sweatshirt, $249, from Superette.

Witchery T-shirt, $64.90.

Kowtow dress, $129.

Clique bra, $79, and leggings, $109.

Hats

Moochi hat, $69.99

Kowtow beanie, $99.

Accessories

Kylie Minogue Eyewear sunglasses, $299, from Specsavers.

Specsavers sunglasses, $299

Kowtow hair bow, $59.

PJs

Penney + Bennett pyjamas, $204.
By Natalie night shirt, $189, and shorts, $139.

9 ways to stay mentally and physically healthy during lockdown

Sticking to a “normal” schedule can be difficult when you’re stuck in the house, but making an effort can really help – mentally and physically.

When your world becomes a bit smaller and less certain – as it is when we’re in various levels of lockdown – it can be easy to get out of the habits we’ve established around eating, exercise and other forms of self-care. With work, school and life all happening at home, it can be stressful and anxiety-inducing for families, and if we’re on our own, we can also get a bit down and discouraged.

So how can we make sure we look after ourselves in both body and mind? Here are some simple ways of keeping on track when our normal routines become disrupted.

1. Try to stick to routines

Whether it’s a work meeting in PJs before breakfast or focusing on homeschooling every morning, try to establish some kind of routine for yourself and your bubble. Having routines helps us feel a sense of control when things we can’t control seem scary and difficult. Getting up and going to bed at the same time each day is a really good habit to get into; staying up late and sleeping in might be tempting, but won’t be helpful for your overall mental and physical health long-term.

2. Prioritise sleep

Sleep can be difficult when we’re stressed. During the 2020 lockdowns, Massey University’s Sleep/Wake Research Centre led a study on the sleep habits of Kiwis and how their mood was affected. Almost half of respondents said they had worse sleep quality during lockdown than before, and the same number also said their mood was worse.

If you’re finding it a challenge to get a good sleep, be diligent in turning off or tuning out from devices at least half an hour before bed. Their blue light disrupts our melatonin production – this is a hormone we need for sleep – and constant scrolling through gloomy news doesn’t help with anxiety levels. It pays to remember,
too, that if we do wake in the night, our thinking is likely to be skewed.

“We catastrophise at night,” says sleep expert Dr Alex Bartle, who runs Sleep Well clinics around the country. “Everything’s much worse in the middle of the night.”

Following all the below tips will also help with sleep.

3. Move it!

We know there are many benefits to exercise. It’s not only useful for our bodies, it’s also a known mood booster. During 2020’s lockdown, people who reported exercising less also had lower wellbeing scores, and vice versa. Whatever you can do – whether it’s a home workout, a bike ride with the kids or a walk around the neighbourhood – it’s going to be great for your overall health.

4. Don’t go crazy on treats

It’s tempting to treat yourself with daily happy hour, snacks and lots of home baking when you’re confined to four walls. Try not to make treats into regular habits, though. Keeping to a (reasonably) healthy eating pattern will help you feel less sluggish and in better shape when alert levels come down.

5. Experiment with food

That said, try and have fun with your food. Lockdown is a good time to experiment with new ingredients (or those things that have been lurking in the back of the pantry for months) and recipes you’ve been wanting to try. You might even discover a new favourite.

6. Don’t overdo media

It’s not called doomscrolling for nothing! Constantly seeing sad news stories or people getting mad at each other on social media can really ramp up the stress levels. And it can distort our perceptions. “Frustration, irritation with yourself and others, and distress are common experiences when we’re under chronic stress and it feels like there is no way out”, says Dr Sarb Johal, registered clinical psychologist. “When your stress hormones are continually pumping because your threat system is active, it’s hard to see things as they are.”

Step away from the news and the socials, and read a book or listen to music to give your brain a break and help regain some perspective.

7. Connect and give back

Another way to boost mood is to connect with other people – especially if you’re on your own. For an extra feel-good factor, find ways you can help others. Phoning a solo friend or neighbour, offering to drop off groceries (safely) for those who are isolating, or even just supporting a local small business when buying essentials are all ways to make them – and you – feel better.

8. Get outside

Getting out in fresh air and nature helps us de-stress and improves mood. Heading outside early also helps us with sleep later in the day – exposing our eyes to blue-green daylight (which we get especially when we’re in natural environments) helps produce serotonin, which converts to melatonin at night. The more melatonin we produce at night, the better we sleep.

9. Get vaccinated

It’s a no-brainer. Book and get your Covid vaccination. You’ll protect yourself and others, and it’s guaranteed to make you feel good.

19 best fiction books of 2021 to add to your reading list

Prepare to get lost in imaginary worlds with these unmissable literary treasures.

1 Songs In Ursa Major by Emma Brodie

Genre: General Fiction

It’s the summer of ‘69, the time of Woodstock, flares and psychedelic prints so bright they could burn your retinas.

Into this hedonistic season of love strolls Jane Quinn, a beautiful blonde musician who cracks the right-time-right-place conundrum when her band, The Breakers, are signed to a major record label.

Music has always been at the centre of Jane’s world: her mother was a successful songwriter before her disappearance a decade ago, and it’s all Jane has ever wanted to do.

When she crosses paths with Jesse Reid, the Justin Bieber of the day, the stage is literally set for a fiery romance. Naturally, the public lap it up and record executives mine their romance for album sales.

But life at the top of the charts isn’t all Grammy Awards and outlandish mansions. Jesse, it turns out, likes to party a little too much and it isn’t long before Jane is exposed to the ugly excesses of the music industry: drugs, exploitation and lies.

Plus, because this is decades before anyone thought to stick the words “me” and “too” behind a hashtag, sexism and smarmy record execs are rife. Men like Jesse are protected, while strong, independent women like Jane are treated appallingly.

The backdrop to this is Jane’s own dysfunctional family and secrets that threaten to further derail her career and relationships.

First-time author Emma Brodie apparently based this on the ’70s love affair between music legends James Taylor and Joni Mitchell, and Emma’s characters are as explosive as James and Joni were reported to be.

It’s a slow burn of a novel, but one that hits all the right notes (sorry). Emma has spent most of her career in the publishing industry and it shows. She really knows how to craft complex but human characters, not to mention creating a yarn that holds the reader’s attention.

Hit up Spotify for James Taylor’s album Sweet Baby James or Joni Mitchell’s masterpiece Blue, pour yourself a drink and sink into this sweet, sad and electrifying novel set in one of the most interesting periods in recent-ish musical history.

(HarperCollins, $39.99)

2 Loop Tracks by Sue Orr

Genre: General Fiction

Does one mistake define your whole life? That’s the question we’re invited to ponder in Sue Orr’s brilliant novel. It’s 1978 and Charlie is supposed to be flying to Sydney for an abortion. But she makes a decision that shapes the rest of her life, as well as the second half of the novel, which is set in present day Wellington and covers last year’s lockdown and general election. This one is good as everyone’s saying it is.

(Victoria University Press, RRP$35).

3 Should We Stay Or Should We Go by Lionel Shriver

Genre: General Fiction

Things to do when you have insomnia: clean out the hot water cupboard, watch all seven seasons of The Good Wife, scroll though social media (not recommended).

I’ve done them all, but one of the best ways I’ve found to deal with sleeplessness is by reading a Lionel Shriver novel. The British-based American writes with such brilliance, you’ll spend your nights so engrossed you won’t care that you have to make it through the day on three hours sleep.

Lionel’s 18th novel – the title of which I can’t say aloud without being reminded of possibly The Clash’s best-ever song – saw me through my most recent bout of sleeplessness.

It’s 1991 in South London, and nurse Kay and her doctor husband Cyril have just returned from Kay’s father’s funeral. Her father spent 14 years spiralling into ill health and the couple muse on the pointlessness of getting older.

They make a pact: on Kay’s 80th birthday in 2020, they’ll commit suicide to spare themselves the indignities of old age. But as time passes and their “final” day approaches, so do their doubts.

Which is Lionel’s cue to introduce Sliding Doors-type scenarios in which she imagines different ways this plan does or doesn’t play out. For example, Kay has second thoughts but is killed by a speeding van, or their three adult children (who they’re not close to) have them banished to a retirement village. There’s even a chapter in which the couple enter a cryogenic deep-freeze.

It’s wickedly fascinating and not as depressing as it sounds, filtered though issues such as Brexit, immigration, political correctness and Covid. In a world that worships youth, it’s also a relief to read about getting older, how society treats its elderly and how to live a long enough life, yet still go out in style.

In less capable hands, the wheels could easily have fallen off this narrative. But Lionel, who gave us the gripping horror of 2003’s We Need to Talk About Kevin, offers a masterclass in dark humour and irony. If she isn’t on your radar, you need to change that immediately.

(HarperCollins, RRP$32.99)

4 Mrs March by Virginia Feito

Genre: General Fiction

When actress Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale) buys the film rights to a book and plans to star in the lead role, you know it’s going to be good – and it is. The Mrs March of the title lives a privileged life in New York’s Upper East Side, the wife of a successful novelist. But then something happens to unravel her tightly controlled world and hello, paranoia and psychic breakdown. Harrowing but whip-smart.

(HarperCollins, RRP$29.99)

5 Nancy Business by R.W.R McDonald

Genre: General Fiction

I missed The Nancys, the winner of the 2020 Ngaio Marsh Award for Best First Novel. More fool me. But you don’t need to have read it to enjoy the sequel, again set in Otago, where lovable characters Tippy, Uncle Pike and Devon re-form their detective agency The Nancys when a mysterious explosion kills three people. This sweet, funny novel is like riding a roller coaster while hopped up on sugar.

(Allen & Unwin, RRP$32.99)

6 Secrets of Happiness by Joan Silber

Genre: General Fiction

Google the title of this novel and you’ll end up with a million self-help books about finding happiness, which does this wickedly funny and intelligent novel a disservice. Joan, now in her seventies, is in fine form with this fictional tale of a man who discovers his father has another wife and children. The interlocking family stories are told layer by delicious layer. Make room on your bookshelf for this one.

(Allen & Unwin, RRP$32.99)

7 The Other Side of Beautiful by Kim Lock

Genre: General Fiction

“You don’t face anxiety by hiding from it”, and Mercy Blain should know. On the eve of her 36th birthday, Mercy’s home (which she hasn’t left for two years) burns down. So she buys a caravan and drives north from Adelaide to Darwin with her dog. If you’ve ever felt anxious, or know anyone who has, this bittersweet novel – the fourth from Kim Lock – will give you all the feels.

(HarperCollins, RRP$32.99)

8 Last One At The Party by Bethany Clift

Genre: General Fiction

Some people might say it’s bad form to read a novel about a deadly pandemic while we’re, um, in the middle of an actual pandemic. I am not one of those people.

And neither should you be, because blimey, this novel from first-time British author Bethany is good. Besides, as she says in the foreword, this book was conceived and almost completely written before Covid-19 (which is referenced in the text) – but talk about timing!

It’s December 2023 and the 6DM virus (Six Days Maximum, the time it takes before your organs disintegrate) is decimating the world’s population. With no cure in sight, people are popping suicide pills, rather than waiting for death by virus.

Strangely, one unnamed woman has managed to survive. She’s just watched her husband die and, with only an abandoned golden retriever for company, roams across the UK, dodging burning cities, rotting corpses and plagues of rats to see if anyone else is alive.

If that sounds a bit grim, it is. But this isn’t a tale of death, it’s one of survival. As we flash back to pre-pandemic times, we witness how this woman lived and loved, how happiness always seemed out of her grasp. She’s the kind of person who could barely survive a relationship, let alone being the last person on earth. But if she is to survive, she’s going to have to pull it together, and fast.

Flecks of gentle humour leaven the enormity of the situation, such as when Bethany wanders around a deserted Harrods grabbing expensive Chanel handbags, face creams and vintage bottles of champagne (who hasn’t dreamed of doing that?) “The designer bags I had now would never be admired by anyone other than me, my expensive face creams might slow my wrinkles, but no-one would ever notice. I was worrying about looking good for a world that no longer existed.”

The idea of being the last one at the party might not be new, but Bethany’s startlingly perceptive writing wrestles the concept into a fascinating shape.

(Hachette, RRP$34.99)

9 Treasury by Maeve Binchy

Genre: General Fiction

She might have died in 2012, but the popular Irish writer lives on in this re-mastered collection of more than 40 short stories, as well as eight new autobiographical yarns. We sweep through London, New York, Greece and Dublin, where love is lost and found, friendships and families collide and the author offers us a big dollop of happiness. In these strangest of times, her sweet tales are like a big, cuddly blankie.

(Allen & Unwin, RRP$32.99)

10 Everything is Beautiful by Eleanor Ray

Genre: General Fiction and Comedy

One of the great joys of being a book reviewer is getting to read all day and calling it work. When it’s a book as charming as this debut novel from British author Eleanor Ray, that’s an even better day at the office.

Eleanor’s protagonist Amy Ashton has always danced to the beat of her own drum. It would surprise precisely no one that she’s somewhere on the spectrum. She’s also, to be honest, a bit of a mess, working a job in finance she hates – a job that was supposed to be temporary while she established herself as an artist. A decade later, she’s still there.

Still, it helps to blunt the edges of the traumatic event that still slices through her life: 11 years ago, her boyfriend Tim and best friend Chantel disappeared on the same day.

As Amy’s already fragile mental state spins out of control, she starts to collect things that remind her of what she had, things most people would throw away, like broken cups, empty wine bottles and key rings.

It doesn’t take long for her house to resemble the kind of places that regularly feature on those creepily fascinating TV shows about hoarders. Even when a neighbour calls the council, complaining of mice coming from her house, Amy can’t be shocked into reality. It doesn’t help that, work aside, she barely leaves the house. Because what if Tim and Chantel come back?

But then a family moves in next door, Amy discovers a long buried mystery and her tightly packed life quickly unpacks itself.

London-based Eleanor was apparently inspired to write this book by the bits and bobs her toddler likes to collect, from twigs to empty water bottles. I’m not sure how she got from there to here, but she made such a success of it she scored a six-figure book deal. Maybe its because she never judges her characters and her clever words positively hum with the takeaway message that however rubbish things may seem, there’s always hope. You’ll be lucky to make it to the end without shedding a tear.

(Hachette, RRP$34.99)

11 The Women And The Girls by Laura Bloom

Genre: General Fiction

It’s 1977 and one in three Australian women are taking tranquillisers to get though their tedious suburban days. Sydneysiders Libby, Carol and Anna couldn’t be more different, but they form a bond thanks to their problematic husbands. Because it’s the ’70s, there’s thick blue eyeshadow, ABBA and women on the cusp of the kind of freedom we take for granted. This book is like having a good old natter with your feminist mum.

(Allen & Unwin, RRP$32.99)

12 Everything Changes by Stephanie Johnson

Genre: General Fiction

No one familiar with this Kiwi writer’s novels, plays or short stories will approach her latest work expecting a dull time. Stephanie really outdoes herself this time with a dysfunctional family who leave Auckland to turn a Northland motel into a luxury retreat. There’s a pregnant daughter back from LA, a dog who’s just eaten the neighbour’s $1000 cat and a rich American determined to kill himself at their retreat. Brilliant.

(Penguin Random House, RRP$36)

13 The Final Revival of Opal & Nev by Dawnie Walton

Genre: General Fiction and Historical Fiction

It’s the 1970s and Nev, a ginger-haired British muso, teams up with Opal, a black American singer who’s the sassy yin to his awkward yang. They’re an unlikely pair poised for great success, until a racially-charged incident ends their fame as quickly as it began. Fast forward to 2016 when a music journalist starts poking around in their story and uncovers a heap of secrets. An impressive debut.

(Hachette, $34.99)

14 The Kindest Lie by Nancy Johnson

Genre: General Fiction

Little secrets grow up to be big lies, goes the old saying. It’s true for Ruth Tuttle, an Ivy League African-American engineer married to possibly the world’s loveliest man. But when he suggests trying for a baby, Ruth’s past – including her illegitimate child that her family adopted out – catches up with her. So she heads home to find her child, and help another along the way. Heartbreaking but so, so good.

(HarperCollins, RRP$27.99)

15 Beautiful World, Where Are You? by Sally Rooney

Genre: General Fiction

I was clearly not the only one who bought into the glory of Sally Rooney’s brilliant novel Normal People. Even more so during last year’s lockdown when the TV adaption elevated her to global literary darling – those sex scenes! Those Irish accents! Connell’s gold chain (which even had its own Instagram account!).

So I was always going to get caught up in the charismatic slipstream of the Irish writer’s next novel. This one operates on a similar frequency to its predecessor: two clever-beyond- their-years millennials, Alice and Eileen, and their love interests navigate life, jobs, relationships and the anxiety and inner struggles that fill their field of vision daily.

Alice is a successful novelist who moves to the west of Ireland after a nervous breakdown in New York. On a dating app, she meets Felix, a rough-around-the-edges bloke who works in a warehouse. It’s hard not to see the parallels with Sally’s own life – a 29-year-old writer who becomes rich and famous, and is fawned over by the press. Eileen, on the other hand, works at a literary magazine in Dublin and falls into a thing with Simon, a gorgeous consultant who she first dated a decade ago.

We see their stories unfold via email – Alice figuring out where she goes from here, Eileen wondering what the heck we’re all doing on this big old planet of ours. Along the way, they riff on Brexit, Trump, climate change and celebrity culture; this is a Sally speciality – knowing how awful the world is but still being willing to commit to love and relationships.

These long, often meandering back-and-forth exchanges are broken up with real life moments, usually of the women’s interactions with their respective paramours (who, naturally, come off not as well as the women).

Those who like their stories with a bit of oomph might find it a bit of a slow burn, but Sally’s masterful use of language and her unsparing examination of millennial angst will keep you hanging in there. Clever, touching and zeitgeisty in all the right places.

Thanks for saving 2021 for us, Sally.

(Allen & Unwin, RRP$32.99)

16 Crossroads by Jonathan Franzen

Genre: General Fiction

One good thing to come out of lockdown is that I zipped through this weighty novel. But any work from the acclaimed chronicler of American life is worth a sore hand. This is the first in a trilogy about a Chicago family and its patriarch, a pastor planning to leave his wife Marion. But Marion has a few secrets of her own, as do their three older children. Very, very, very good.

(HarperCollins, RRP$35)

17 Damnation Spring by Ash Davidson

Genre: General Fiction

American writer Ash Davidson has thrown everything but the kitchen sink at her debut novel: big business, the environment, the working class, and a couple. Rich Gunderson, a fourth-generation logger, and his wife Colleen are trying to get by in 1970s California. Colleen suspects chemicals used by the timber company are responsible for her string of miscarriages and the town’s many stillbirths, setting the stage for a dramatic showdown.

(Hachette, RRP$37.99)

18 Happy Hour by Jacquie Byron

Genre: General Fiction

Recent research from the University of Oxford shows that along with diet and exercise, one of the most important factors for good health as we get older is having at least five close friends.

Franny Calderwood, the urbane, sassy heroine of Australian writer Jacquie Byron’s debut novel, clearly didn’t get that memo. Having lost her beloved husband Frank in a tragic accident three years earlier, 65-year-old Franny willingly casts herself adrift from the world. If she can’t have Frank and the fabulous life they once shared, reasons Franny, she’ll withdraw from everyone and everything – bar her two dogs, Whisky and Soda, too much gin and photos of her beloved husband that she’s placed in every room and she talks to.

But then new neighbours move in next door, the Salernos, and although Franny vows to retain her hermit status, she’s soon drawn into their orbit. There’s Dee, the troubled teenager who looks to be heading off the rails, eight-year-old Josh, who Franny can’t help but be charmed by, and their mother Sallyanne, who, recently separated from the kids’ violent father, is trying to navigate life as a single mother.

No one is more shocked than Franny by how much she enjoys the family’s company and she’s soon entertaining them with her fabulous cooking and even more fabulous stories of a life well lived. But just as the old Franny starts to emerge, the anniversary of Frank’s death derails her in more ways than one.

Jacquie, a former journalist, is a lovely writer – warm, sensitive and sincere, exactly the kind of person you want to lead you through such a sweet tale. She’s also bloody funny. Her takeaway messages are simple: grief is a journey that shouldn’t be taken alone; and new friends can become like family, but old friends should never be underestimated.

This is the kind of book you start and two hours later look up and wonder where the time has gone. Definitely one for bingeing.

(Allen & Unwin, $36.99)

19 Rabbits For Food by Binnie Kirshenbaum

Genre: General Fiction

Bunny, the narrator, suffers from clinical depression. One New Year’s Eve she ends up in a psychiatric institution. Refusing treatment, Bunny decides to write a story about her fellow “lunatics”. A psychotic breakdown isn’t usually the stuff of comedy, but this examination of humanity’s fault lines is told with humour and sensitivity and you’d have to be pretty hard of heart not to fall a little in love with Bunny.

(Allen & Unwin, RRP$22.99)

Great adaptions

Read the book or watch the movie? That is the question.

This year has brought us some great films and series adapted from novels and non-fiction, which have helped us escape our everyday lives – and get us through lockdowns. Whether you prefer your stories on the page or the screen, check out some of 2021’s adaptations and the books they’re based on.

The Underground Railroad

By Coulson Whitehead

(Amazon Prime Video)

This “alternate history” is inspired by the Underground Railroad in the 19th century – a network of safe houses and secret escape routes for African Americans fleeing enslavement. In this story, a young woman named Cora discovers an actual subterranean rail system on her quest for freedom.

Nomadland

By Jessica Bruder

(Disney+ and Neon)

Jessica Bruder documents her experience meeting and living among America’s van-dwellers – people who were devastated by the recession and hit the road in search of a new life – and the critically acclaimed film adaptation, starring Frances McDormand, took top honours at both the BAFTAs and the Oscars this year.

Firefly Lane

By Kristin Hannah

(Netflix)

Tully (Katherine Heigl) and Kate (Sarah Chalke) become “best friends forever” as teens in the ’70s, and this series follows them as they support each other through 30 years of ups and downs. A second season has recently been announced and will hit screens sometime next year.

The Woman in the Window

By A.J. Finn

(Netflix)

In this psychological thriller, Amy Adams stars as Dr Anna Fox, a reclusive child psychologist who suffers from agoraphobia. Confined to her house and dosed up on various medications, she spends her time observing her neighbours through a window – but what she witnesses will make her question her reality.

The Last Letter From Your Lover

By Jojo Moyes

(Netflix)

Journalist Ellie (Felicity Jones) discovers a collection of love letters from the 1960s in this time-jumping romantic drama. The letters tell of a secret, passionate affair between two people known only as “J” (Shailene Woodley) and “Boot” (Callum Turner). Ellie sets out to find the mysterious lovers and reunite them while dealing with her own relationship woes.

Nine Perfect Strangers

By Liane Moriarty

(Amazon Prime Video)

From the mind behind Big Little Lies comes another mystery thriller starring Nicole Kidman. The Oscar winner stars as Masha, the director of Tranquillum House, a health retreat that promises to change people’s lives. When nine strangers visit to de-stress and heal, they soon find out the retreat is not what it seems.

Toni Street on overcoming heartbreak, losing her siblings and her miracle surrogacy

Beloved broadcaster Toni Street opens up to Sophie Neville about finding happiness after immeasurable loss and how she hopes her new memoir will bring comfort to others.

“The thing with grief,” says Toni Street, “is that it permeates everything. And even though people say time is a healer, the reality is that the pain never really goes away. You just have to find a way to live with it.”

She’s one of our most successful TV and radio stars; her down-to-earth style and inimitable warmth winning her a legion of loyal fans. But behind her easy-going positivity lies a family story so heartbreaking that until now, it’s remained largely untold.

While Toni, 38, has hinted at the gravity of her family’s losses over the years, it’s only with the release of her book Lost and Found that the Coast breakfast host is finally ready to talk in depth about the devastating deaths of her siblings Lance, Tracy and Stephen, and the colossal toll the tragedies have taken on Toni and her family.

She also opens up about her own terrifying health battles, the high-profile career that saw her become a household name in her twenties, and the miracle surrogacy that helped the entire family heal.

Toni’s story is an intimate and moving tale of heartbreak and hope, and as she sits down to chat over a Zoom call during Level 4 lockdown, she admits that writing it has been a highly emotional journey. At times difficult, often confronting, but ultimately healing.

“It was a very big decision for me to do a book and to share so much, but at the same time, it’s been incredibly cathartic,” she says. “I’ve always had a tendency to bottle things up, yet through doing this, there has been no hiding from the hard stuff. It’s been a really important thing for me and my family to do.”

The former Seven Sharp star is talking to us from her living room at home on Auckland’s North Shore. It’s week five of the Covid-19 lockdown, and the mum-of-three has just finished a spelling lesson with her daughters Juliette, who turns nine this week, and Mackenzie, six, while her husband Matt France has kept three-year-old Lachie entertained in the background.

A cake is baking in the oven, toys lie scattered over the floor, and plans are afoot for a family bike ride if the rain ever stops. “I hope it does, because the key to keeping everyone happy is getting outside and burning off their energy,” she laughs. “Otherwise we all start going a bit crazy.”

Toni Street and family (from left) Mackenzie Street, Lachie Street, Juliette Street and husband Matt.
Toni spending some quality family time with (from left) Mackenzie, Lachie, Juliette and husband Matt.
PHOTO SUPPLIED

Being stuck at home wasn’t quite the way she’d planned the launch of her book, but ever the optimist, Toni is making do with phone calls, Zoom interviews, social media posts and makeshift photo shoots with Matt, 37, behind the camera. She still can’t quite believe her labour of love – which was a year in the making – is finally on shelves, and it’s clear there are a few last-minute nerves. She explains that she wrote the book as a tribute to her parents, Wendy and Geoff, and adds tentatively that she hopes her story might help others going through difficult times. She doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but there’s comfort in knowing you’re not alone, she says.

“I hope people can relate to the book… Whether it’s someone thinking about surrogacy or going through it, or if someone has an auto-immune condition or been on long-term steroids and has had episodes like I have, hopefully they’ll find my story comforting.

“Or for people in the thick of grief right now, perhaps my story will show them that one day life will get better and easier. My parents are an incredible example of what the human spirit can endure. People go through hideous things in life, all sorts of trauma, but my parents’ survival shows you can get through even the most terrible of times. It’s still possible to experience joy and have an enjoyable life. I really believe in the power of success stories, rather than the opposite.”

While Toni initially thought her book would focus on her 2018 surrogacy journey, in which her best friend Sophie Braggins carried her and Matt’s longed-for third child, it became patently clear very early on that there was no way of avoiding the other momentous parts of her life. To try to write about events in isolation would’ve been impossible.

“When I talked about my surrogacy, that naturally meant I had to go into my health problems and the reasons why I couldn’t carry a baby myself. And that, of course, led to the impact of my illness on my family, and what they’d already been through. I couldn’t ignore the fact that my yearning for another baby was totally tied up with the losses that my family has endured. I learnt that every single thing in my life is inextricably linked.”

Toni also made the decision early on that there was nothing in her life that she would try to keep secret. She was going in, boots ’n’ all.

“If it’s something negative, it is what it is. I’ve always taken the view that it’s best to be pretty open about things. We’ve had the lowest of lows, but why would I not share that? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Toni’s story begins in rural Taranaki in the early 1980s. She was born a twin, something that perhaps not many people knew about her. Her parents were delighted to get a son and a daughter in one hit – “Dad said it felt like winning Lotto,” writes Toni in Lost and Found.

Toni Street baby photo
Wendy and Geoff couldn’t believe their luck when twins Toni and Lance were born, and were devastated when Lance passed away at just 18 months old.
PHOTO SUPPLIED

Yet their joy was not to last as Lance fell ill at a few months old. The little boy was eventually diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, a type of blood and bone cancer. After months of gruelling yet unsuccessful treatment, Lance passed away peacefully in his parents’ bed at 18 months old, sandwiched between his devastated parents and his twin sister.

Toni Street and her twin brother

“That was the moment my mum’s heart truly broke for the first time,” says Toni, who sadly has no memories of her twin brother.

A year later, Wendy and Geoff were thrilled to welcome Tracy Ann, a baby girl who they’d hoped would help them heal. But just moments after she was born, it was clear she was very sick, and doctors discovered Tracy had no kidneys.

‘She was taken to the intensive care unit, placed on a ventilator and her parents were given a few hours to spend with their daughter before saying goodbye. The machines were turned off 14 hours after she was born, and it was through “a haze of disbelief and horror” that Toni’s parents found themselves burying a second baby within a year.

While Toni always had an awareness of her lost younger siblings growing up, it wasn’t until writing the book that she realised there was so much she didn’t know. In several emotional sessions, she sat down with her parents and listened as they shared their harrowing stories in extraordinary detail. She never knew, for example, that a terrified Lance would hide his little arms when he heard the “bloods trolley” rattle down the corridor on the children’s cancer ward.

She never knew that her mother, who went on to have Toni’s younger siblings Stephen and Kirsty, felt “completely and utterly alone” after losing two children, because back then no one really talked about grief out loud. She also never knew her mother’s greatest fear was that her remaining children would experience the inescapable agony of losing a loved one.

“I have such a greater depth of understanding now about what my parents went through, and so much admiration for their resilience and survival,” she says. “I look back and see how they did everything in their power to shield us from the pain they were carrying. I just think they’re incredible, because even though my brother, sister and I grew up in the shadow of all that, we were somehow spared. We thought life was pretty perfect.”

Street siblings (from left) Kirsty, Toni and Stephen.
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I have such a greater depth of understanding now about what my parents went through, and so much admiration for their resilience and survival.

Yet the unimaginable happened on January 7, 2002, when Toni’s 14-year-old brother Stephen was killed in a tragic farm accident. He’d been helping his dad milk the cows, when he went off on his quad bike to fix some fencing. When he didn’t return, Geoff headed out across the paddocks in search of his son – only to discover his lifeless body crushed under the bike.

“My dad had to carry my dead brother back home to a mother who’d already lost two children,” says the broadcaster through tears. “I still struggle with the magnitude of that.”

For Toni, Stephen’s death was the moment her life changed forever. Nothing would ever be the same again. She now knew the sadness that her mum had lived with for so long.

“The moment my brother Stephen died, I went from being this carefree, nothing-can-touch-me-in-life kind of person, to bam! Life as I knew it was just blown up in one day. You’re not the same person after that.

“I guess your foundations get absolutely shattered and you have to find a way to live again, and it’s not the same way you lived before,” she says. “Everything you do after that point is impacted. Every decision you make, every relationship you have… is impacted by that massive thing that happened to your family.”

Toni Street and her teenage twin Stephen before he passed away
Once a carefree teen, Toni knew her life would never be the same after Stephen’s sudden death in 2002.
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Twenty years might have passed, but the pain lingers on and the tears still flow. Toni describes her grief as a feeling of heaviness, a burden almost. “It’s like an invisible cloak draped around my shoulders. I’m used to it now, but it’s always there.”

And even now, happy moments with her own children are often clouded by memories of her lost loved ones, particularly Stephen, the shy, lovable, rugby-mad boy who enjoyed nothing more than spending time on the farm with his dad.

“Because of what happened, I often look at the kids and go, ‘Oh my goodness, we could lose them’. It’s a terrible way to think, but I look at Juliette and think, ‘If that was Stephen, we’d only have five more years with her’. It’s awful, but that’s the reality of grief. It never goes away. It permeates everything. But it also makes you appreciate things more clearly because you know how quickly things can get snuffed out.”

It’s awful, but that’s the reality of grief. It never goes away. It permeates everything. But it also makes you appreciate things more clearly.

Toni is at pains to point out that her book might have some heavy themes, but it’s in no way a “misery memoir”. There are light hearted moments, humour and surprising revelations – including Toni’s foray into plastic surgery with a breast reduction at age 18.

She describes the decision to have her bust reduced as one of the best she’s ever made, helping her go further in her sporting career and feel more confident in her appearance as she climbed the TV ladder from TVNZ sports reporter to Breakfast host and Seven Sharp presenter.

While she walked away from full-time TV in 2017 to focus on her family, in the past year Toni has been a familiar face fronting both the America’s Cup and Tokyo Olympics coverage. She’s always been naturally ambitious, but Toni credits her background for giving her a strong sense of purpose in life.

Bear, the family’s Cavoodle, is a great source of joy for Toni.
PHOTO BY MONTY ADAMS

In fact, in the hours after Stephen’s accident, Toni says she made a promise to herself – she would never, ever do anything that would make her parents’ pain worse. Everything she did from that moment on would be for Wendy and Geoff, who still live on the family farm just outside New Plymouth.

Despite the distance, they are a constant presence in Toni and her family’s lives – visiting at least once a month, travelling up to help with the kids at the drop of a hat, and joining the family on their holidays. The joy of grandchildren has been the greatest gift, says Toni.

“That desire to make life better for them has continued to drive me ever since Stephen died,” she says, her voice breaking. “Absolutely everything I have ever achieved, the children I’ve had, it’s been as much for them as for me, and I get so much joy now when I see them all together. They’re the centre of my parents’ universe and vice versa.”

Toni is grateful that the book has breathed life back into the decades-old memories of Lance, Tracy and Stephen, and for the fact it’s given her parents the time and space to talk about what they went through. She sees Lost and Found as something of a keepsake.

“The death of a child is unlike anything else. It’s the most sensitive topic of all. No one wants to talk about it, and your family devises ways to still live with this gaping hole without necessarily addressing it all the time. From my perspective, as a child of parents who have lost three children, you never want to do anything that’s going to make that worse, so all my life I’ve found it very hard knowing how much to talk about those losses without making it worse. I feel like this almost gave us a reason to revisit things, which was hard and uncomfortable at times, but very necessary. I’m glad I did that for Mum and Dad and I know they’re proud.”

Toni Street and her Mum Wendy
Working on the book helped Toni and mum Wendy confront their grief.
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While the book has helped their recovery, nothing has been more healing for the family than the arrival of little Lachie, the miracle baby born thanks to the incredible generosity of Toni’s childhood friend Sophie, who stepped in to help.

Toni had been devastated to learn her auto-immune condition, Churg-Strauss syndrome, meant she couldn’t consider a third pregnancy, and Sophie’s selfless act changed her life in more ways than she ever could’ve imagined.

“Lachie is such a gift,” says Toni, who says her little boy’s resemblance to his late Uncle Stephen constantly amazes her. She hopes that by sharing the story of his creation, others will find the surrogacy process less daunting than she did.

In the beginning, she, Matt and Sophie were frustrated and confused by the void of information on surrogacy in New Zealand, and she hopes that her book might help demystify the process somewhat.

“I remember looking on the internet for real-life Kiwi surrogacy stories and there was only one! So now I feel a huge responsibility, as someone who’s been through a public surrogacy, to share a true representation of what we went through,” she says. “I know from the outside it might look like it was all roses, but Sophie and I both believe it’s really important that we’re honest about how hard it was. There were so many hurdles to get through, so many tough parts, and it’s important that side of the story is shared.”

One of the “grittiest” parts, which is detailed in her book, was the hours and days after Sophie gave birth to Lachie. Handing over a baby that she’d carried for nine months was much more emotionally difficult than either of them had anticipated.

“Sophie was knocked for six by her feelings of loss and loneliness, and I was overwhelmed with guilt for what I’d put her through,” recalls Toni. “It wasn’t like she regretted it or wanted to keep the baby, it’s just that neither of us were prepared for the huge emotions.”

Toni’s book gives an open and honest account of her surrogacy journey with friend Sophie (above right), and the overwhelming emotions they both went through during the process.
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They credit open communication and a deep trust built on their 25-year friendship for helping them through – something that most people embarking on a surrogacy don’t have.

“We had all the elements for the perfect surrogacy because we were lifelong friends, and even with that it was hard. So for people going into this with someone they don’t know so well, I can only imagine how much fear there must be lurking in the back of your mind. There is so much trust involved.”

Toni has become an outspoken critic of the laws governing surrogacy in this country, and on the day we speak, she’s just put the finishing touches on her submission to the law commission on proposed reforms.

Her biggest hope is that intended parents, people like her and Matt, will end up with greater protection. Currently, if a surrogate changes her mind while carrying a baby that’s not biologically her own, she has every right to keep that baby. The fact that Toni and Matt had to apply through Oranga Tamariki to legally adopt their own child after he was born, despite the fact he was conceived via IVF using Toni’s egg and Matt’s sperm, still shocks them.

“It took four months before Lachie was officially our child, which was upsetting for us, and a big burden on Sophie, who deserved to be free of the responsibility. The laws are so outdated, so it’s a big relief that changes are underway.”

Whether it’s penning a submission or writing a book, Toni’s desire to help others is at the heart of why she shares her story.

The rain has stopped now and Toni’s family are mobilising for their bike ride. No matter what she’s been through, she’ll never stop being grateful for what she has – her ability to see the positive in any situation, she says, is the silver lining in what she’s been through.

“I’ve lost a lot, but I have so much as well, and that’s what my mum has taught me. That no matter what, we’re lucky to have the people we love and none of us will ever take that for granted.”

17 Of the Best Crime And Thriller Books

Thrill-seekers listen up! If you prefer your fiction slow-burning, terrifying or downright thrilling, this round up of crime and thriller books will have you seeing red.

1. Tell Me Lies by J.P. Pomare

Genre: Thriller, mystery

Warning: you might get Fleetwood Mac’s “Tell Me Lies” stuck on a loop while you read this novel from Kiwi-born J.P. Pomare – or is that just me? Psychologist Margot Scott has a perfect life: a nice house, great hubby and kids, and a successful career. But one day it all goes wrong when she pushes a client in front of a Melbourne train. This book thrums with suspense from the get-go.

2. Girl A by Abigail Dean

Genre: Crime, drama

Call me a cynic – and plenty have – but I tend not to believe publishing houses when they say things like, “This book will define a decade.” Yet they were bang on with this debut novel from English lawyer Abigail Dean.

Lex (Alexandra) is the Girl A of the title, a successful lawyer based in New York. But she grew up in northern England with six siblings in a home the press labelled a “House of Horrors”. And it was: Lex, the oldest, and her brothers and sisters were incarcerated, starved, beaten and bound to their beds by their monstrous parents.

When she was 15, Lex managed to escape and flag down a passing motorist. Her father, the architect of his family’s physical and mental abuse, committed suicide before he could be arrested, but her mother was sent to prison. After months of counselling, the children were eventually adopted out to different families.

When her mother dies in prison, Lex returns to England to turn the House of Horrors into a community centre, connecting with her adult siblings whose lives have been fractured in different ways by the abuse and the way each processed it, long after the headlines stopped rolling.

This tale is alive with a fury that will stay with you long after you’ve finished it, but Abigail also manages to imbue her narrative with redemption and a smidgen of hope.

Not surprisingly, there was a fierce bidding war for the manuscript and the TV rights were snapped up by Sony Pictures, because damn, this girl can write! In finely chiselled sentences that flick between then and now, she builds a portrait not only of incomprehensible suffering but also the capacity of humans to endure.

Although it’s a compelling read – it kept me awake until 3am because I simply couldn’t put it down – Girl A left me feeling more unsettled and stunned than anything in recent months. Which, given the current state of the world, is saying something. But I’ll bet you a fiver this will be a slam-dunk bestseller – who knows, it could even define a decade.


3. The Last Thing To Burn by Will Dean

Genre: Thriller

*Spoilers ahead

I’m going to call it – this is my book of the year. Jane and her husband Lenn live a simple life on a pig farm in the UK Midlands. It’s isolated, mysterious and starkly beautiful. Except her name isn’t Jane and Lenn isn’t her husband. She’s Thanh Dao, a woman trafficked from Vietnam who came to the UK on the false promise of a job and was sold to Lenn. No-one knows she’s there and on the rare occasions visitors come to the farm, she has to hide.

Thanh Dao has been trapped in this abusive sham of a marriage for seven years, forced to take on the name of Lenn’s late mother and former wife while her food, medication and even her baths are cruelly monitored. She’s tried but cannot escape, not only because of the remote location but because she fears for the safety of her beloved sister Kim-Ly, who, she is told, is working to pay off their debt to the traffickers. There’s also the monstrous injury she suffered when Lenn attacked her ankle with a bolt-cutter to ensure she couldn’t leave (you’ll need to practise your yoga breathing when you get to that bit).

Life is an endless loop of cleaning, cooking and having sex with the psychotic Lenn, who films her every move during the day and watches the tapes at night. If he doesn’t like what he sees, he punishes her by burning her few possessions – a photo of her parents, letters from her sister, a pencil.

Just when you think it couldn’t get darker or more claustrophobic, Than Dao discovers she’s pregnant. And Lenn kidnaps another woman. This is surely one of the most horrifyingly compulsive thrillers ever written. I can’t recall hating a character as much as I did Lenn, or rooting for someone as much as I did for Thanh Dao.

If you prefer your fiction slow-burning and occasionally terrifying, you’ll love this word-perfect thriller. Turn off your phone, pour a large glass of red and hope you make it to the end in one piece.


4. Who is Maud Dixon? by Alexandra Andrews

Genre: Thriller, mystery

“I didn’t see that coming,” is something you’ll say often while reading this debut novel that features so many twists and turns you could end up feeling carsick. The identity theft trope has been successfully worked over before in thrillers such as The Talented Mr Ripley and Catch Me If You Can, but this tale of two protagonists locked in a deadly game of self-invention is quite the story.

Florence Darrow wants to be a writer. Not just any writer – a famous one. Except she’s doing everything but writing: floating through life, working in a low-level publishing job she hates and having sex with her married boss. When a bad decision sees Florence sacked from her job, she takes on a role as assistant to “Maud Dixon”, a celebrated but anonymous novelist (think Elena Ferrante and you’re in the ballpark).

For Florence, it’s Christmas to the power of 10: living in the country with Helen (the real Maud), learning about life and writing from someone who, although not much older than her, is talented, worldly and so damn cool. Sooner or later you know it’s going to go horribly wrong, and when the pair travel to Morocco on a supposed research trip for Helen’s next novel, it does. Florence wakes up in the hospital after a terrible car crash, Helen is missing, presumed dead, and Florence has the bonkers idea of taking over not only Helen’s but also Maud’s identity.

But is Helen really dead? And what in bejesus is she running from? Hello, one-way ticket to madness. Alexandra, an American journalist and fashion copywriter, stirs a clever pot of mystery and intrigue in this good old-fashioned psychological thriller that will keep you up all night. As Florence tries to figure out how and why she’s been played, while reinventing herself as Maud, Alexandra turns the bats*** crazy tap on full, but in a way that never feels forced (and that works). It’s dark, funny and incredibly clever. Did I mention the backdrop is mostly a lush Moroccan setting? That’s a big, fat yes from me!


5. The Paris Affair by Pip Drysdale

Genre: Thriller, mystery

The third novel from Australian author Pip Drysdale probably isn’t the best advert for a holiday in Paris (remember overseas holidays?). Obviously there’s good food, fashion and the unmistakable je ne sais quoi of the City of Love. But a killer is stalking the streets of Paris and he has Pip’s protagonist, journalist Harper Brown, in his sights.

Let’s rewind: love hasn’t been kind to Harper, who wasted years supporting a man who dumped her as soon as he got his big musical break. Heartbroken, Harper moves from London to Paris for a gig as an arts journalist on the kind of hip magazine most lifestyle journos would trade a lung to work for.

What Harper really wants to be is an investigative journalist, but when she gets involved with an American artist, she limbo dances under the rule that journalists are supposed to cover the news, not create it – and almost doesn’t make it to the other side.

Did I also mention Harper’s been so hardened by her breakup that she plays a game with men, hooking them in and then dumping them (her record is three minutes)? If that sounds a bit like the recent excellent film Promising Young Woman, it is. It’s also a strategy that works well until it puts Harper in the murderer’s path.

This is a twisty thriller that gets inside the mind of a woman trying to negotiate the enormous speed bumps in her way. Does Harper make some silly decisions? Is she her worst enemy? Do you sometimes want to slap her? Yes, yes and yes.

But hang in there, dear reader, because Pip’s crisply written thriller is worth the effort. When Harper realises she’s caught the attention of some incredibly dodgy characters who’ll stop at nothing to protect their secrets, she has to pull off the ultimate one-two punch: stopping the murderer and landing the scoop of the year.

The Parisian setting may charm readers starved of overseas adventures, as will the chapters headed in French. But Harper’s Paris is one of shadows, dimly lit alleys and dangerous characters. Highly recommended.

6. Dancing with the Octopus by Debora Harding

Genre: Autobiography, crime

In 1978, author Debora Harding, then aged 14, was abducted, raped and left to die. It’s not until the 1990s that she suffers from PTSD, in part prompted by her mother claiming she made it all up (spoiler alert: she didn’t). Part true crime, part memoir, this book recounts Debora’s mental health issues and the ripple effect of the actions of not only one man, but also her parents. Brave and beautiful.

7. Tall Bones by Anna Bailey

Genre: Crime, mystery

The collars are blue, the necks are red and Whistling Ridge – the small Colorado town at the heart of this novel – runs on secrets and religion.

In other words, it’s the best setting for a crime novel.

Abigail (Abi) Blake is a typical 17-year-old, the hormones coursing through her veins pushing her to seek adventure outside her claustrophobic home. One night, Abi and her best mate Emma attend a party in the shadow of the Tall Bones, the white rocks that are a local landmark.

Only one of them makes it home.

Consumed by guilt over leaving Abi alone, Emma sets out to uncover the truth about what happened to her. But while unravelling Abi’s movements in the weeks leading up to her disappearance, Emma turns over stones that many in Whistling Ridge would rather she didn’t.

Enter folk not normally on Emma’s radar – people like Hunter, the son of the town’s big-wig, and Rat, a Romanian loner who lives in a trailer and is called “the gypsy” by townsfolk who don’t take kindly to anyone “not from around here”.

It’s nothing new for Emma, a Latino girl who’s felt the pointy end of racism all her life. That’s why she finds herself spending time with Rat, who plies her with the alcohol she’s becoming too fond of.

When the town’s hate-filled pastor encourages his congregation to turn on the “outsiders”, it’s only a matter of ime before the festering boil of anger and resentment is popped.

British writer Anna Bailey based her debut novel on the time she spent living in small-town USA. She flits back and forth through time, revealing events through the eyes of her characters as they pick their way through the carnage of not only that night, but also their lives.

It’s not subtle, but it’s not meant to be. Anna tosses around topics such as racism, homophobia, abuse and incest, but her silky smooth writing saves it from becoming too depressing. Plus, she’s a master at keeping readers engaged.

Remember the name Anna Bailey, because I predict we’ll be hearing it a lot more from now on.

8. The End of Men by Christina Sweeney-Baird

Genre: Thriller, sci-Fi

With so many words written about the global pandemic, you’d assume it had nowhere left to go.

Apparently not – although, to be fair, Christina Sweeney-Baird wrote her first novel before Covid-19 crashed into our planet. But her dystopian narrative about a virulent pandemic that decimates the male population at times feels eerily close to home.

It’s 2025 and in a Scottish hospital, A&E doctor Amanda Maclean treats a man with flu-like symptoms. Within three hours he’s dead and other men soon fall like dominoes. Naturally, Amanda frantically waves the red flag, but her concerns are ignored.

So the plague is left free to sweep across the globe, killing 95% of the world’s men (some are immune). It’s a story told exclusively by various women, from the UK to Sweden (even Auckland gets a look in), as they deal with the horrific passing of their husbands, sons and brothers.

If you’ve ever thought the world would be better run by women (who hasn’t?), this gives a taste of what that might look like. Surprise, surprise, it actually works pretty well – from women drafted into previously male-dominated jobs, such as rubbish collection, to campaigns to produce and raise male children. Admittedly, the latter does slide into some dodgy Handmaid’s Tale territory, with IVF lotteries, compulsory C-sections and mandatory child rearing pools.

But I was so invested in the various story strands that I was willing to overlook these minor hiccups, as well as Christina’s sometimes obvious disregard for logic. Because all the usual thriller hooks are present and accounted for and Christina, a British lawyer, knows how and when to add dashes of gasoline to the fire to keep the reader hanging on.

Is reading a book about a pandemic in current times a little bit draining? I would have thought so, but instead the opposite happened: I found myself comparing the actual pandemic to this more terrifying fictional one and thinking, sure ours is bad, but at least it’s not this bad.

9. The Sanatorium by Sarah Pearse

Genre: Crime, thriller

The brutal but beautiful setting is as much a part of the story as Sarah’s protagonists – mountains and trees as far as the eye can see, all quilted in white, seen though the architectural windows of the kind of resort most of us would never get to stay in. The hotel’s former life as a dodgy sanatorium also lends the story a creepily sinister element. For atmosphere alone, this book gets five stars.

Tip: don’t bother playing the “whodunnit” game, because Sarah skilfully manipulates events so that the ending will probably surprise you. If it’s good enough for Reese Witherspoon’s book club, then it’s good enough for me.


10. Before You Knew My Name by Jacqueline Bublitz

Genre: Thriller, mystery

If there was a prize for literature’s best murdered girl – and there really should be – it would have to go to Alice Lee.

Not only does the 18-year-old’s backstory shape this blisteringly original debut by Kiwi writer Jacqueline Bublitz, but her spirit also hangs around to narrate the story.

Two women arrive in New York City on the same day. Alice has a pocketful of cash and a camera stolen from a former teacher who abused her in small-town nowheresville USA. Her mother committed suicide when she was young and no one really cares where Alice is or what she’s doing.

Ruby Jones, on the other hand, is 36. She’s Australian, fleeing from a bloke at work who’s engaged but is keeping her on for booty calls. She’s sufficiently cashed up that she can quit her job and spend six months mooching around New York slaying her emotional demons.

Just as Alice is finding her feet – flatting with the kindly Noah and working at his dog-walking business – she is brutally raped and killed. She becomes known as Jane Doe, Riverside Park murder victim.

Meanwhile, Ruby is drinking too much and spending too long staring at her bedroom ceiling, unable to forget her cruel lover. One morning, while out for a run, she discovers Alice’s body and the two women’s lives are connected forever.

Ruby feels protective of the dead girl and tries to learn everything she can about her, while Alice hangs around the margins, a ghost trying to push Ruby towards solving her murder.

So well does Jacqueline write about life in the Big Apple, I was surprised to learn that she’s actually based in New Plymouth. Apparently, she spent a summer hanging around New York’s parks and morgues, which provided the basis for her sure-footed debut.

Yes, it’s a sucker-punch of a novel, and you’ll weep over the way both Alice and Ruby are treated by men, but Jacqueline’s sensitive handling of the subject matter makes it a winner.

Go and buy this book, then clear your schedule for a few days because once you start, you won’t be able to stop.


11. Suspects by Lesley Pearse

Genre: Mystery, crime

“Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours,” goes the slightly annoying theme song to the long-running Aussie soap.

It’s a message the neighbours in this book seem to have missed.

Young couple Nina and Conrad Best have long dreamed of this day – the day they move into their first home. It’s located in Willow Close, a leafy street in the English town of Cheltenham, and the couple are looking forward to a good life in this seemingly perfect spot.

But their happiness is short-lived when a teenage girl from their street is found murdered nearby. The residents are each questioned by police and that’s when the novel takes a deep dive into what really goes on behind closed doors.

Neighbours who for years quite liked each other – who celebrated birthdays, holidays and drinks together – suddenly realise people aren’t who they seem. Everybody has their secrets and everyone is a suspect.

Astonishingly, this is Lesley Pearse’s 30th novel, and by gum, does she have a head for characters. There’s no shortage of them crammed into its 367 pages: a dodgy neighbour who may or may not be running guns; an architect driven to drink after losing his child in a tragic accident; a former prostitute with underworld connections; and the distraught parents whose only child has been murdered.

That one horrific incident kicks off a chain reaction in which closets are opened and long-held secrets are tossed about like leaves in a southerly breeze. Lesley perfectly captures the light and shade of a group of ordinary residents, ripped apart by a senseless tragedy. But even as the killer is revealed, you can’t help but feel sorry for them.

Lesley has sold something like 10 million books, which isn’t bad for a mother of three who started her literary career at 49. Prior to that, her life was as colourful as some of her characters: she was, in turns, a nanny, a Playboy bunny and a clothing designer.

Thankfully she found her calling, because Suspects – like all her books – crackles with energy. I gobbled it down in a day and a bit, desperate to see who the bad guys were.


12. Blood On The Vines by Madeleine Eskedahl

Genre: Mystery, thriller

If you’ve never been to Martinborough, the cute wine village north of Wellington, you need to remedy that immediately. It’s the setting for the first in a series of crime novels by Madeleine Eskedahl, a Kiwi by way of Sweden. It’s there a former winemaker is murdered, before the carnage moves north to Matakana’s wine region. Madeleine’s willingness to wade into murky territory makes this is an assured and exciting read.

13. The Madison Gap by Patricia Donovan

Genre: Thriller

One in 25. That’s how many Americans are estimated to be sociopaths. This chilling statistic forms the basis of Kiwi writer Patricia Donovan’s second novel, which opens a skylight on family dynamics, bullying and sociopathic behaviour.

It’s 2017 and Lexi Madison is living in the Sydney suburb of Glebe. Life is good: Lexi is an art director at a city advertising firm and lives in a nice house which, one day, her beloved architect husband Conor will make even nicer.

You just know the good times can’t last, and when Lexi’s older sister Chrissy comes to stay, things start to rapidly unspool. Chrissy is more attractive, glamorous and worldly than her younger sister, a fact she continually highlights.

Lexi, on the other hand, imagines having her sister stay will be all happy families, and she’ll get to know the sibling who left home when she was a child. But then Chrissy starts to ingratiate herself with Conor, and Lexi realises that her dreams of a tight familial unit are not to be.

Before you can say, “Blimey, that took an unexpectedly dark turn”, their long lost brother Robbie turns up. Family secrets are revealed, but when Chrissy points the finger at Robbie – and he does the same to her – it’s hard to know who to believe. Poor Lexi is the literal meat in this nasty family sandwich, and before long it’s affecting her job, her home and her marriage. That’s hard enough, but then something really bad happens – which might make you thankful for your own family, because no matter how bad they are, they surely can’t be worse than this lot.

Patricia is a skilled writer who meticulously unpicks what it means to be a family. Just because you share the same DNA doesn’t mean you have the same values or view of the world. Or that one of you can turn out to be a sociopath and the other a saint.

A brilliant read with sharp characters, an elegantly constructed narrative and a genuinely disturbing outcome. This has Nicole Kidman mini-series written all over it.


14. A Slow Fire Burning by Paula Hawkins

Genre: Crime, Thriller

You’ve probably heard of Paula Hawkins, the South African/English author who sold something like 20 million copies of her first novel, The Girl on the Train (which was turned into a 2016 film starring the excellent Emily Blunt).

There isn’t a train in sight in Paula’s third novel, but there are several boats. The story begins on one – a houseboat moored on one of London’s leafy canals, on which Daniel Sutherland is found murdered.

Cue three very different women connected in some way to Daniel: Laura, a troubled one-night-stand who was seen running from his houseboat, her T-shirt covered in blood; Carla, Daniel’s snooty aunt who never got over the tragic death of her infant son years ago; and Miriam, his busy-body, middle- aged neighbour whose own spotless houseboat covers up the trauma of her past (a suitably creepy tale of childhood abduction which comes full circle in a didn’t-see-it-coming twist).

All three women have been scorned or mistreated in some way, and each is ripe for revenge.

Rounding off the characters is Theo, Carla’s former husband who is as deeply flawed and unlikeable as she is, and Irene, a lonely pensioner who befriends Laura and is one of the few people who comes off as genuinely good (Laura is the other, a young woman abused by her family who falls through society’s cracks).

There’s even a book within a book: Miriam’s account of her horrific abduction, which we see in flashbacks. Miriam asks Theo to cast his eye over her manuscript, never dreaming he would plagiarise the story for his own literary gain. But secrets can only smoulder so long before they explode into flames.

Chuck these characters into a blender with their demons, lies, resentments and revenge, and out pops this good old-fashioned thriller.

Paula, who apparently got the idea for this novel from peering into London houseboats, is on fine form in this tense, taut read. Her writing has always had an edge of cold steel, which guarantees buckets of suspense and atmosphere. Strap yourself in people, you’re in for a wild ride!


15. Magpie by Elizabeth Day

Genre: Thriller

Magpies, in case you need a refresher, are attracted to shiny objects which they often steal to feather their own nests.

It’s an apt metaphor for this brilliant psychological thriller by Irish author and journalist Elizabeth Day.

Her fifth novel opens with a magpie, which flies into the London house Marisa is viewing for her and her boyfriend Jake to live in. Clearly, it’s a harbinger of how bad things are about to get.

Marisa and Jake haven’t known each other long, but they seem perfect for one another and move into said house where they set about playing happy families. The only thing that isn’t perfect is their ability to conceive.

Then Kate, a lodger, moves in to help pay the mortgage, sending the story off on all sorts of creepy tangents. Something about her isn’t right. Why is she so familiar with Jake and their house? Is she a magpie, trying to steal Jake? Or is it all in Marisa’s head? And why the heck can’t they get pregnant?

Just when you think you have the characters pegged, a pure genius plot twist in the middle of the narrative blows everything up and things get properly nail-biting. In the interests of spoiler culture, I won’t say anything more. All you need to know is that this cleverly written thriller is like a Russian doll – there are secrets hidden within surprises and no one quite seems to be what or who they appear.

I’ve been a massive fan of Elizabeth since her 2017 cracker The Party, and her podcast How to Fail is quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever heard. Even if you’re not familiar with her work, you’ll be a total convert after reading this gripping page-turner. Not only because of the superb writing, but also the sensitive way Elizabeth weaves her own personal pain into the 300-odd pages – she’s suffered three miscarriages and undergone three rounds of IVF and based the story on her own heartbreaking fertility experiences.

A definite highlight of 2021. Give this woman all the awards now.

17. The Heights by Louise Candlish

Genre: Thriller

Last year, I spent two hours a day commuting by train to work. What kept me sane was Louise Candlish’s audiobooks. So when the British writer’s latest novel arrived, I jumped on it. This time around, the story focuses on a woman and the bloke she thought she had killed a few years ago, a man who ruined her life and her son’s. Cue a nail-biting chain of events.

Actress Rima Te Wiata opens up about the pain of losing her mum to dementia

Kiwi icon of stage and screen Rima Te Wiata speaks to Aroha Awarau about flipping the script on dementia, standing up for trans rights and what Matariki means to her.

As an actor, love is one of the strongest emotions to express on the stage and screen, and it has inspired many powerful performances.

For Rima Te Wiata, one of New Zealand’s most acclaimed actresses, she was selfless when caring for her mother, Beryl, during her eight-year struggle with dementia, until she passed away in 2017. Reflecting back on the many tender moments she had with Beryl, Rima has realised that showing unconditional love towards her mother during her illness has made her a stronger person.

“People describe dealing with someone with dementia as ‘the long goodbye’. But I like to think of it as ‘a continuing hello,’” Rima says about one of the most trying times in her life. “You have to look at it in another way. I’m going to continue to say hello, I’m going to be here for you, no matter how hard it will be.”

Rima was born in London in 1963 and was destined for a life on the stage and screen. Her mother was an actress in movies, theatre and television, and performed one-woman shows across the country. Her father was renowned Māori opera singer and master carver, Inia Te Wiata. As an only child, Rima remembers a whirlwind upbringing of world travel as she and her mother joined Inia on tour.

A young Rima Te Wiata with mum Beryl (left) and dad Inia arriving in Wellington 1968 for the Te Wiata Festival.
A young Rima with mum Beryl (left) and dad Inia arriving in Wellington 1968 for the Te Wiata Festival.
PHOTO SUPPLIED

“We were on the move a lot, going around from place to place. There wasn’t always time to establish close friendships. It made me appreciate that you’ve got to make the most of things and try to get an insight into people very quickly.”

Rima – who made her screen debut in the 1980s on Australian soap opera Sons and Daughters – was eight years old when her father passed away. Two years after his death, she and Beryl moved to New Zealand. Throughout the years, Rima and her mother only had each other and formed a close bond. So it was extremely difficult when Beryl was diagnosed with dementia and her memory started deteriorating.

“It’s a cruel disease,” Rima says. “When someone is suffering from dementia, it’s really hard to grapple with. You become frustrated and angry because it doesn’t get any better. It only gets worse.”

After the Christchurch earthquakes, Rima moved to Auckland and trialled being her mother’s full-time caregiver. But after 15 weeks, Rima realised Beryl’s dementia was taking an emotional toll on them both and she made the heartbreaking decision to put her mother into residential care. She says the day of the move was a very emotional time.

“While remaining outwardly strong for my mum, inside I was devastated,” the actor recalls. “I felt like I was dropping off a little girl to boarding school. She was so vulnerable and had to put her trust in me that I had found the right place for her.”

Beryl reached a point where she didn’t recognise her daughter and had forgotten all of the wonderful memories she shared with her husband. When Beryl passed away at 92, Rima was relieved that her mother’s suffering was finally over.

“She didn’t know who I was towards the end, but I could see that she loved me through the delight in her eyes. I learned a lot from Beryl. I learned about the fragility of humanity. I felt blessed to have this test in my life and to expand my capacity to love.”

Today, Rima has comforted and supported friends who are dealing with loved ones suffering from dementia. She’s grateful that she can use her experience to help others.

“It’s okay to feel hard done by or angry. That’s normal. You have to lift your game. When you feel down and feel dreadful, you have to get over it again and find a new lease of yourself. The best way to cope is to understand that this is just a part of life. This had nothing to do with me, all of my worry and concern needed to be about Beryl.”

It’s okay to feel hard done by or angry. That’s normal.The best way to cope is to understand that this is just a part of life

Since Beryl’s death, Rima has kept busy working and starring in some of our most popular TV shows and films, from TV’s Westside to the feature film This Town and the recent TVNZ movie The Tender Trap, in which Rima portrayed Sharon Armstrong, the victim of a romance scam who was jailed in Argentina in 2011 for drug trafficking.

With fellow Shorty alum Robyn Malcolm in Kiwi comedy This Town.
Behind bars as romance scam victim Sharon Armstrong in The Tender Trap.

In Rima’s latest project, the Auckland Theatre Company’s production of The Life of Galileo, she will again display her diverse acting range by tackling the role of 17th century Catholic leader, Pope Urban VIII. It’s an interesting role for Rima, firstly because it’s based on a historical religious figure, and secondly, because she’ll be playing a man.

Altar ego: Rima’s latest role will see her jump back in time to portray a 17th century Pope.

“I’m tall, I don’t have an uber feminised voice, so I think I’m suitable to fluidly shift between genders. I love being challenged and doing these types of different characters,” Rima explains.

Gender swapping has been a proud theatre tradition since the era of William Shakespeare. In fact, this is the third time Rima has played a Pope (twice before in the Caryl Churchill play Top Girls). She even voiced the part of the carnivorous plant in a 2012 musical production of The Little Shop of Horrors, a role traditionally played by a man.

Throughout her career, Rima has been open to portraying the opposite sex, but in 2013 she took a stand against playing the part of a transgender woman when she was offered the role in a local production. Today, trans activists and LGBTQ+ groups have strongly opposed the casting of straight cisgender actors in trans roles. These protests have influenced Hollywood stars like Scarlett Johansson, who was set to play a trans man in an upcoming film, but pulled out of the project to support fair representation of trans characters on stage and screen.

When Rima was asked to play a trans character nine years ago, she was ahead of her time by having the foresight and sensitivity to turn down the role.

“It’s a hot topic right now, but back then it wasn’t,” she says. “It could have come across like I was this novelty actor proving that I could do this role. I felt really sensitive about it and it felt wrong. There are so few roles for trans actors and they are entitled to have these opportunities.”

Throughout her illustrious career, which spans more than four decades, Rima has worked with the best in the business. From the likes of Taika Waititi and Sam Neill in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, to Hollywood actor Eric Bana in the Australian sketch comedy show Full Frontal.

Rima with Julian Dennison in Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

She says one of her biggest role models was comedian David McPhail, who Rima worked with on the ’90s TV comedy More Issues. The satirical show is where Rima got to display her comedic talents with her spot-on impersonations of Helen Clark and Judy Bailey. David died in May and at his funeral in Christchurch, Rima was able to pay her respects to a mentor and friend, thanking him for everything he had taught her.

“He ran a tight ship. He was a great anchor and leader in our team. He was well-mannered and never showed that he was stressed. He instilled confidence in me.”

The Life of Galileo – which also stars fellow acting royalty Michael Hurst as Galileo Galilei – is Rima’s return to the stage. The play is based on historical events from more than 400 years ago, but the story tackles themes that are still relevant today. It’s about the Italian astronomer Galileo, who discovered the proof that the Earth rotated around the sun, but his findings were challenged and not accepted by arrogant leaders.

Rima says the topic reflects what’s happening in society today, where some people challenge the effects of climate change or have doubts around the Covid-19 vaccines.

“This play is looking at authority versus science,” Rima says. “I have empathy for people and see
how easy it is to become very frightened of new information, especially when people start to panic and think it’s evil.”

I have empathy for people and see how easy it is to become very frightened of new information

For research purposes, Rima and the cast recently visited the Stardome Observatory in Auckland to see the stars and planets and learn about how they move. As she was gazing up to the galaxy, Rima was reminded of Matariki, the Māori New Year, which is named after a cluster of up to nine stars and will be celebrated during the season of the play.

Traditionally, Matariki is a time for remembering those who have passed and celebrating new life. Rima, whose iwi is Ngāti Raukawa, says it’s marvellous that the occasion has had a renaissance and will be acknowledged with a public holiday from 2022.

“For me, Matariki is about the land. It’s primarily about harvesting and sorting out what to plant next season, preparing for feasting and the next lot of growth of kai. But it resonates with what to savour in your own journey, what to weed out, what new things to plan, what to achieve and improve about yourself over the next year.”

Another period in which Rima had the opportunity to reflect on her life was during lockdown last year. She had been so busy prior to the pandemic and the forced restrictions gave her time to finally stop and breathe.

“I realised I was burnt out and I needed to stop. I had time to reflect on what I considered valuable as a performer and honing down on what I still wanted to achieve in my life and career. I don’t want to do just anything at all. You want to find work that elevates you as an artist and presents you with the right challenges.”

Rima Te Wiata performs in Auckland Theatre Company’s upcoming season of The Life of Galileo at ASB Waterfront Theatre, June 22 to July 10.

PHOTOS BY JAMIE WRIGHT, TAANIKO AND VIENNA NORDSTROM AT SOLDIERS ROAD PORTRAITS


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